may you live your days…

compassionate of heart

clear in word

gracious in awareness

courageous in thought

& generous in love

~ john o’donohue

(photo by david alan harvey)

and may joy-infused twinkle lights

heart-swelling kindness

conscious awareness of endless beauty

&  unburdened love

be with you always

~  me

merry christmas…

the beckoning of lovely…

i found myself over at my friend swirly’s site today and she had posted this video. like her, i found myself moved to gentle tears about how simple it can be sometimes to create something beautiful. how the magic of a small moment between people can make a lifelong imprint and how there are countless opportunities to change the trajectory of a life. recently in a class i’m taking i was asked to create a list of the the turning points in my life. in that exercise, i found the one moment, the one decision that had changed my life forever.

just out of college, covered in student loan debt i was given two exciting opportunities. the first was an unpaid internship at the non-profit national geographic in washington dc, the other a paid job as the assistant to one of the editors at vogue magazine in new york city. new york city was just a short ride from home and dc meant moving away from everyone and everything i knew. dc meant no income, ny meant a job with salary and benefits.

i chose dc and the geographic.

it was in that moment, i now understand, when i chose the life of service i live now — through my yoga studio and the workshops i help envision and facilitate. all this time it seems, in my own small way, i really have been trying to be the change. trying to make the world better…

thank you swirly for always inspiring…and thank you amy krouse rosenthal for beckoning us all…

what was i thinking?

that reverb thing? yeah, not happening…what was i thinking? i actually do know myself better than that…i’m always intrigued by these things, and occaisionally i’ll pick a project and count down the days and get really into it. and this is a great project! but now? during the holidays? that was me being nostalgic for a time when i won’t have anything to do. what is it called when you feel nostalgic about something that’s never actually happened, or you are hoping will happen in the future?

right now i’m having to work really hard at striking a balance. it’s after 5p 6p, the sun is setting has set. i’ve been on my computer, focused and working since 8am. my back hurts (says the yogi), i’ve not had enough water, i missed my walk today, there’s no chocolate and i’m being asked to go bowling. i don’t bowl. really. they know this. i say no every time. i don’t like anything about it. mostly because i’m so bad at it that it’s heart-breakingly embarassing to me to be watched, coached, or teased even when it’s all just playful. i feel traumatized just thinking about it because it borders on being ashamed about how bad i am. but still they implore me and i’m doing my best to hold my ground because what i really, really want is to roll out my mat, turn on some good tunes, move my body, stretch it out l-o-n-g and then enjoy a glass of wine while i finish my book.

on a more positive note, i did get to groove out by myself today with a spontaneous dance party brought to you by the police. bring on the night always makes me move — and if yoga really is just about finding the space between the thoughts, then man, i was in it good:

Q & A…

Q: what’s black & white and red all over? (remember these jokes?)

A:  two circus dogs in this red room (ok not funny, i know…but THEY were hysterical and sweet little Elsie there on the right made our little puppy seem like SUCH a bruiser with all his floppy attempts at play)

things have been quiet over here as i’m deeeeep, deep, deep in holiday marketing for one of my freelance gigs. sale! save! shop! i’ve also been off facebook somewhat accidentally. i was actually distressed when a few friends decided to log off facebook permanently. a strange sense of abandonment crept over me. but now that it’s temporarily gone from my life, i’ve allowed myself space between tasks rather than a reflexive tic over to my facebook page. what i’ve noticed in that space is well, space, in my head. i’m enjoying the quiet – but i will say that dearly miss my friends there – most of whom live far, far away and facebook was helping me feel close to them. so, i’ll be logging back in soon. don’t fret!

i’m wishing i had been participating in #reverb10 but i just found out about it! so i’m going to start today and maybe go back and fill in the blanks from the first week.

Q: What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

A: The last thing I made was a sandwhich for lunch today. I used rustic italian bread, tuna, mayo, salt, pepper, lemon, tomato, onion and avocado. deee-lish. I’ve been doing a lot of rustic sandwiches lately with all kinds of fun ingredients – portobello mushrooms, lots of avocados, sardines, yummy cheeses. I’ve been making tons of roasted vegetable dinners – purple potatoes, fennel, sweet potatoes, red onions and sunchokes – which were delightful. i try to buy one totally new thing every time i go to the grocery store and i’d never even heard of sunchokes before! I’ve been enjoying branching out, and also working on letting each meal be a meditation on simplicity and goodness.

The last thing I made that I would consider a more artistic pursuit – i.e. following my creative dreams – was a painting I started in September. it’s taunting me in it’s unfinished state. I’ve discovered I have so many roadblocks to being creative…not the least of which is this tendency to be a pleasure delayer, meaning i seem to think i need to have ALL my work done in order to make time for that one thing i really want to do. So for 2011, one thing I know for sure I’ll be working on is getting out of my own way.