…the sweet confinement of aloneness…

When your eyes are tired the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark where the night has eyes to recognize its own.
There you can be sure you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your womb tonight.
The night will give you a horizon further than you can see.
You must learn one thing. The world was meant to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you…

~David Whyte (via Jen Gray with Love)

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a
Stranger,

Only to someone
Who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife

Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

-Hafiz (via MB w/love)

…i really do…

I want to love as if I were dying.
Even if you don’t know, touch my shoulder
indiscriminately, like an accident
or a small error of space.
I want my heart clawing the air,
gouging into your neck, your
soft eyes, your anything,
devouring what it can.
~ maya stein

…getting out of my own way

“there are ways that i limit myself in doing what i want, and then i later become resentful-which is ironic because no one is stopping me from anything but me.” – dancingmermaid

fascinating how sometimes it feels as though some soul has the strength, courage & clarity to put into words some quality or habit or feeling about themselves that rings a big giant gong in my own head. see, there are days when i am so clear about what i want, and i know exactly how i’m going to get there and it’s going to be so easy and i just have to begin and it will all fall into place and happen. but then it doesn’t. because…”I” come up with an obstacle of some kind – something i like to call “reality” but really it’s “fear”.

there’s not really anything i want in my life that i’m incapable of getting. not. one. thing. honestly. granted my wants and wishes aren’t pie in the sky – i don’t really want to go into space or be a celebrity, i don’t have grand material desires for yachts or jewelry. what i want is to write a book and have it published, and to be a self-supporting artist. i want a little art studio space that i love being in every day (instead of wanting yet resisting it because i cry when i try to paint something). i want yoga and my yoga studio to be my only job. i want to have a little mountain house escape. i want to go to tuscany and have a little italian roadtrip. i want to sit less in front of my computer and be outside more. i want to feel exhausted from playing all day and crawl happily into bed and the arms of love.

but as the lovely dancing mermaid said above…somehow i limit myself and then resent it later. what is that about? why do we limit ourselves? my soul sister sufi asked me the other day “what are you afraid of?” one of my responses was that i’m afraid of not living up to the expectations i have of myself. but what does that mean? and if this is true, why do i sabotage myself? and how do i get out of my own way? these are my questions. and as rilke says, i’m tryng to “learn to love the questions themselves”…

do you do this? what do you do to right yourself and get yourself back on course?

a quick wave hello…

hello lovelies! just popping in for little wave (hello!). it’s busy here in my world with comings and goings, friends in need, kitties, doggies, and souls to feed, visitors, family, traffic…oh it goes on and on…but i promise i’m taking time every day to stop and breathe and notice. i believe gratitude is a practice, in much the same way that yoga or pranayama or meditation are practices. i feel it’s something i need to consciously do ~ carve time out of my busy life to acknowledge just how good things are, those tiny details. last night driving south to visit the family i had this moment of complete and total, well, awe at the sun. our sun. our STAR. how profound and magical it is that our little planet circles around this huge firey ball of energy and it’s so far away, and it heats us up, and burns our skin. and then the full moon rose up over the ocean and i sat in awe again. the moonlight reflecting on the water, and remembering that really it’s just the sunlight reflecting off the face of the moon…magic.

so excuse me for waxing a bit there…what i really came here to say is thank you. these are just a few of the things i’m thankful for today, right now, in this moment:

the tiny little signs i’m given that show me all is moving as it should…

the way the universe responds when i put something out there with honest purity…

big crazy rainstorms and the rainbows that sometimes follow…

my love doggie…

fresh peaches…

creating the people who invented guitars and banjos and then creating many more talented lovely people to play them…

feeling filled with hope when sometimes i get so sad…

vinho verde…

mermaids, fairies, fireflies, ladybugs, gorillas, elephants, & babies of all kinds…

tom robbins & clarissa pinkola estes…

colors…

little white star flowers with black centers and pineapple-like buds that i had never seen before until today…

simone (have i told you about simoneĀ  yet!?)…

all the lovelies in my life…

my enigmatic, harley-riding, namaste-sayin’ colorist who cracks me up monthly and keeps me from looking my age…

squam…(oh, oh, oh, soon!)…

yoga…

…and most importantly LOVE!

what are you thankful for?